RedGage

Breaking up is difficult for both parties. It is normal for you to feel that you will never get out of this in one piece but you should not let this feeling blind you.

Breaking up is part of the dating and romancing cycle so no one can be exempted from experiencing it some time or another or once or numerous times in a lifetime. Whether it is self-imposed or imposed on you by someone else, the feelings may be unbearable but it is certainly not the end of the world for you.

Here are some suggestions you may want to consider that may be of help:

1. Keep In Touch The first thing you should not do is to isolate yourself, even if you prefer to grief on your own and need your own space but you cannot do it to the extent that you live like a hermit without any contact with your friends or family members. So, get in touch with your friends/family members and make plans to gather together. This will ensure that you will not be alone to mop around and worsen your condition to the state of depression. People need people, so friends/family members can really help you, lift up your spirits, get you to enjoy life and most of all bring your life back on track once more.

2. Speak Up and Out One of the most effective ways to overcome our depression is to find some way to release your stress. So, try to voice your feelings rather than keep them bottled up because if you do, you will just accumulate and become a ticking time bomb which when explode will hurt everyone around you and yourself. You can revisit your old memories and cry your heart out if you feel like it. However, it is not any better than to talk things over with someone close to you, someone whom you can trust and is your good listener.

3. Time Give yourself all the time required to come to terms with the breakup. Reality is always harsh and the sooner you accept the fact that the relationship is over, the sooner you will recover. During this time, you should not be idling away or drown yourself with vices but to do some reflections on where the relationship or you have gone wrong. Determining the faults and mistakes helps prepare you for future relationships. Time is a real healer, it heals wounds and broken hearts. I can assure you that you will come out stronger, once you use your time wisely to evolve.

4. Rainbows After every storm there will always be a rainbow. Like a passing storm, let yourself know that this sad phase will pass too. Nothing lasts forever and so does this particular stage of your life. You will be able to outgrow and outlast this broken relationship. Life goes on and you will regain your life once again.

5. Keep Yourself Occupied Ensure that you are busy all the time if not then, most of the waking time. Plan activities and make it happen. By all means, have plenty of fun by ways of sports, movies, hobbies, interest classes or music concerts. Do not have too much time to idle on your hands as this will make you feel despondent and mop. Keep yourself preoccupied at all times so that your mind will be diverted.

6. Pamper Yourself I am sure you will agree with me that we make a lot of sacrifice when we are in a relationship depriving ourselves from the things we would like to have or giving up our favorite activities for our love ones. So, indulgence is good once in a while especially during this challenging times. Reward yourself by way of treating yourself to a body massage at a spa, a weekend trip, live concerts or a new dress. Try to enhance the feel good factor by doing things that help you feel positive and good. Reward yourself regularly with little things that will make you feel upbeat and good about yourself.

7. Socialize Break ups does not mean that you are anti social or a failure. So, start entering the dating arena whenever you are ready. Ask your friends to help you get dates and never ever refuse a party invite. Once you are a part of the dating circle again you definitely might find someone good or in most cases better and move on leaving that hurtful past behind you.

8. Do Not Punish Yourself Since I had dealt on self-reflection, I would like to clarify that you do not try to think of the reasons why things went wrong immediately and beat yourself up even if you are at fault. In a relationship, it takes 2 to be together and likewise to break up. When either party does not see the point in continuing with one another there will no longer be any meaning or purpose to postpone the inevitable. Other than forgiving your partner, you must never forget to forgive yourself.

9. Times of Your Life If you can it is helpful to store the good times away and try to look forward to a new phase of your life. Build up the excitement for the new things and learning that will have good times come your way quicker. Remember change is the only constant in life so learn to deal with it.

Important Notes:

Once you have decided to break up – make a clean break.

Do not try for interim patch ups as these will not work.

Get all the unresolved concerns out of your system as this will enable you to move on with no harboring of hard feelings within.

Do not think that sleeping with your ex will make things work for you.

Do not do things that you will regret later.

Give yourself a lot of cool down time.

Never hesitate to ask for help and support from your loved ones whenever you feel the need.