For Those that are Single this Valentines Day
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If you’ve ever watched Seinfeld then you might be familiar with Festivus. I say we singe people have a festivus for Valentines Day. It will take place February 14th , but its own holiday. Let’s think of it as a social movement as well, a way to change western society.
No I don’t hate Valentines Day; it’s just that I am perennially single. This of course has saved me a lot of money over years; however I wouldn’t mind spending the day with the woman I love. Alas it is not to be and so I am angry and bitter.
What should an anti Valentines Day consist of?
What would make me feel better for being alone again?
All bars should be half price, that’s a good start.
- Lubricate the American social libido.
Movie theaters should offer deals on non-romantic movies and romantic comedies should be double price.
- Yeah you have a girlfriend, but I get to watch Stallone blow shit up at a fraction of the cost of you watching Catherine Zeta-Jones fall in love.
Restaurants should offer reduced rates on tasting menus for odd number or all 1 gender parties.
- Let those on dates pay through the nose; give the lonely bastards a break. They’re there for the love of food/because it’s Tuesday but not because of an idiotic social tradition.
Spoken word anti Valentines Day parties.
- Allow the angry, lonely broken hearted get up their and rant about the holiday, the opposite sex, the commercialization of the holiday and so on.
Do you have an idea? Let’s start the Anti-Valentines Day Revolution. Let’s share and discuss.
