Why are they famous

Why are they famous

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Every day I feel a little more out of touch. I see “celebrities” and ask why? Now I am actually not talking about Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian and their ilk. I understand their fame, they are young and fuckable. Simple, straight forward, I get it. No matter how annoying they are men and conservatively 10% of women will want to abuse them in ways their sex tape partners never comprehended.

However there are other celebs whose appeal baffles me.

Chelsea Handler - why does she have a TV show and who the fuck watches it? I’ve watched maybe 2 seconds that’s all I could handle, any more then that and my mind turns to pudding and I start slobbering like a monosyllabic troglodyte with hateful thoughts. The formula for the show is as follows: 1 part talk show + 1 part “Real Time with Bill Maher” (substituting good guests for shitty E-list ones) 8 parts shit.

Russell Brand - is funny how? I understand he is funny to look at, but aside from that his appeal perplexed me. I didn’t see the VMA’s or “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.” Maybe he a comic genius and I just haven’t caught on, but the dude looks like a fucked up Jack sparrow, correction Captain Jack Sparrow.

Lady Gaga and M.I.A .- who are these people? I understand they are some kind of musicians but I haven’t heard a song anywhere. I get Katy Perry; I was audibly raped by “I Kissed a Girl” like the rest of the nation. She is a catchy pop crap “artist” from double D heaven, got it. But these chicks make me want a Z Pack simple because I looked at them.

Sandra Lee – I haven’t watched the show, but I’ve heard talk, none of it is good. So I am curious why she is on the Food Network. I am gleefully waiting for the day Marco Pierre White tells Anthony Bourdain to shoot her from a book depository window.

So those are just some of the people I believe have sold there soul too and are possibly fuck buddies of The Devil.