RedGage

     Let me start off by saying that this is not a book for the faint-hearted. It is honest. It is sleazy. But most of all, it is disturbing. Written between December 1986 and December 1987 it is a brutally honest account of a rock-star who completely lost control and spiralled to the bottom of the dung heap.

          In 1986, glam rock band Motley Crue was at the height of their success. In the eyes of the world, they had it all: money, fame, girls, cars. In the sometimes crazy world of rock ‘n roll alcohol, parties and drugs were part of the everyday scene and no one partied faster or more furious than the Crue. Bassist Nikki Sixx partied the hardest of them all. The Heroin Diaries chronicles the year during which he started to spiral out of control, when the drink and the drugs took over and he would spend the evenings locked up in his closet with a loaded gun by his side. During this period Nikki admitted to having a 10cc love affair with the drugs he injected. In turns funny and depressing, the book takes the reader on a roller-coaster ride of emotions as Nikki deals with the paranoia and outlandish behaviour that are part and parcel of drug abuse. The Heroin Diaries is a riveting account of Nikki’s trip to hell  - or what he could remember of it. The gaps are filled in by the rest of the band members and other personalities from the hard rock scene of the late 80s. The underlying feeling you get when you read this book is that Sixx blames everyone and everything for his addiction except himself. Like all true addicts, he is always ready to point his finger at others as the cause of his problems. The heroin, the coke, the alcohol and prescription drugs were just his way of escaping from the glaringly obvious reality that he needed to get his act together and grow up. Peppered with poems, parts of lyrics and his most intimate thoughts, this book serves as a memoir not only of Nikki’s personal life but also gives us a behind-the-scenes glimpse of a rock band on tour and the somewhat tumultuous relationships between the band members.

          After a year of constant drug abuse, Nikki Sixx overdosed on heroin in December of 1987. He was pronounced clinically dead but somehow managed to cling on to life, run away from hospital in nothing but his leather pants, and return home to shoot heroin yet again. Such is the life of an addict. Following this incident, Nikki made the decision to sober up. He managed to get out of the gutter and embrace life. And he also learnt to forgive. Not just others but himself. In my opinion, forgiveness is the first step to healing and Nikki Sixx managed to make a come-back. These days he is back to writing lyrics and playing bass for Motley Crue and for his other band Sixx AM.

          In the fast-paced world of hard rock, Nikki is by no means an exception. Drugs, alcohol and parties are the rule of the day. Others before and after him have taken the road that can only lead to destruction. He is one of the exceptions because he faced his demons and chose to live. He chose to stop listening to the voices in his head and face the real world with all its problems. Sixx's message is loud and it is clear - drugs don't work. When asked why he chose to publish the book, Nikki replied: “If one person reads this book and doesn't have to go down the same road as me, it was worth sharing my personal hell with them.”  

I finished The Heroin Diaries in 3 days. Once I started it I was totally hooked and could not put it down. It is by no means a literary gem but it is utterly gripping, not only for all those people who are Motley Crue fans but also for all those who are interested in learning what goes on in the mind of an addict. In  the end this book is exactly what it states to be in the title: a year in the life of a shattered rockstar.

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